I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I will be naked everywhere
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
