How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
