Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
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Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
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I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
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