Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
