Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
