yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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