my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
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