To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
