Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
