i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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