Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
