i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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