I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize