Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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