): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Semen is not good for contacts.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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