this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
