remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
