if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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