I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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