can we get nightvision for the apartment?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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