what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
