how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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