At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
