Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Randomize
