Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
