Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
