VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize