you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize