honey bunches of taint.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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