I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
