all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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