Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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