it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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