Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
