we have pet lesbian snakes
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
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