dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
