I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Enjoy the penises
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
