his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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