Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
