how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
