just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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