Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
