As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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