It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize