she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
