bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
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