Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
