ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
