Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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