someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
