I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
