I heard we made out
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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