Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
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I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
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You and the dog were competed for the water dish
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.