This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
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I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
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Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."