K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Every concussion has its silver lining
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
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