Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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