There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
