she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
We left an ass print on the piano.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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