Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
