i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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