I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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