I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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