We're like a lot better than the average bears
I cockslap morals
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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