Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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