People with herpes should wear stickers.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
