I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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