that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
