Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
