I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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